About Carlyle Jansen

I was born in Toronto in a very conservative home. My family did not discuss sex, leaving me in the dark and terrified of sex. It was a great unknown, easier to just avoid.

When I was 21 I realized I could not avoid this part of me for the rest of my life. I had to take the plunge at some point. I was dating someone I felt comfortable with at the time. When we had sex, I felt a build and build but nothing beyond. He stopped and asked me what I liked. “Aren’t you supposed to know that?” I responded. He suggested it might be helpful if I learned a little about my body and preferences. The idea had never even occurred to me before.

So I became a good student and tried to figure out how to have an orgasm on my own and with my partner. Nothing worked. After two years I gave up. I enjoyed sex but did not orgasm.

Several years and relationships later a partner split up with me over my inability to orgasm. The performance pressure was too much for him to deal with. This was now in the way of relationships. A good friend suggested I try a back massager as a vibrator. A couple of weeks later I had an orgasm and finally felt part of the “O Club”.

I decided that since I was now in my late 20s, it was high time for me to learn about sex. I started reading books, watching videos and taking workshops. One of the most transformative workshops was put on by the Body Electric School. The hands-on nature was critical to a deeper understanding of pleasure.

A year after my sexual revelations, I was told by many that since I was comfortable talking about sex, I should teach workshops. After each workshop, I was encouraged to open a space that would be a comfortable, professional and knowledgeable place to offer products and more workshops. Good For Her was opened in 1997.

Since then, I continued to learn through my students, colleagues, attending other workshops and research. To complement my practical and informal knowledge of sex I, completed more formal sex therapy courses such as the “Guelph Sex Therapy Training Program.” In addition to public workshops, I began coaching individuals and couples in 2000 on the practical aspects of sex. I went back to school to gain more formal education with a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology in order to offer a more rounded experience of coaching and therapy for my clients. As a Registered Psychotherapist, I can now offer my clients both a therapeutic and a practical approach to our work together. I am also a certified member of the Association of Sex Therapy in Ontario (ASTO, formerly BESTCO).