I was born in Toronto in a very conservative home. My family did not discuss sex, leaving me in the dark and terrified of sex. It was a great unknown, easier to just avoid.
When I was 21 I realized I could not avoid this part of me for the rest of my life. I had to take the plunge at some point. I was dating someone I felt comfortable with at the time. When we had sex, I felt a build and build but nothing beyond. He stopped and asked me what I liked. “Aren’t you supposed to know that?” I responded. He suggested it might be helpful if I learned a little about my body and preferences. The idea had never even occurred to me before.
So I became a good student and tried to figure out how to have an orgasm on my own and with my partner. Nothing worked. After two years I gave up. I enjoyed sex but did not orgasm.
Several years and relationships later a partner split up with me over my inability to orgasm. The performance pressure was too much for him to deal with. This was now in the way of relationships. A good friend suggested I try a back massager as a vibrator. A couple of weeks later I had an orgasm and finally felt part of the “O Club”.
I decided that since I was now in my late 20s, it was high time for me to learn about sex. I started reading books, watching videos and taking workshops. One of the most transformative workshops was put on by the Body Electric School. The hands-on nature was critical to a deeper understanding of pleasure.
A year after my sexual revelations, I was told by many that since I was comfortable talking about sex, I should teach workshops. After each workshop, I was encouraged to open a space that would be a comfortable, professional and knowledgeable place to offer products and more workshops. Good For Her was opened in 1997.
Since then, I continue to learn through my students, colleagues, attending other workshops and research. To complement my practical and informal knowledge of sex I have completed more formal sex therapy classes such as the “Guelph Sex Therapy Training Program.” In addition to public workshops, I began coaching individuals and couples in 2000. I continue to love the work that I do.